Wednesday, January 06, 2010

Jayden is a big fat liar.

It's the beginning of a pristine new year, and yet, what I am about to do now is to write an emo blog entry.

I would love to post up all the festive photos and write interesting/funny entries for your entertainment sake, but I can't proceed without letting a little of my true emotions out.

I wanted to stop blogging, well, at least on this high profile blog. And that was the umpteenth time I am making (but not following through) the same old decision.

It ain't no publicity stunt to gain readers, but it is really getting old. I'm getting sick of myself going back on my words over and over again. This time round, I was pretty serious about it, and even set up a new blog. I had even written a blog entry already.

I also went to the extend of informing people that I am stopping this blog and won't be dealing with any more blogosphere-related stuff like blog-advertising;
- dropped out of an advertorial halfway,
- told a PR company not to send me the products that they wanted me to try out,
- rejected advertisement deals,
- and not forgetting telling my close friends that I'm not going to write here anymore.

But the same as every other time I made the decision, I began to wonder if it was a wise decision and started to regret it.

There are a lot of factors that cause me to have the dire need to cease blogging. Can't really write everything down here, but well, what can I say is, I'm a very emotional and an extremely self-conscious person. The slightest emotional breakdown will trigger me to close this blog. More so in recent times as I had been enlisted into the army. My hatred for the National Service system is relentless, but that is another story for another day. Point is, at times I was so emotional that I started to conceive suicidal thoughts.

In the downward spiral, closing down the blog doesn't seemed to be of such a big issue.

Nonetheless, when I eventually snapped out of it, I realised things would have had happened differently if I take them on with a different attitude. I shouldn't just get into another of my "SIGH! I WANT TO QUIT BLOGGING" episode just because I am feeling down.

Hopefully with the coming of age, I'll be able to get a better grasp of myself. Please ignore me if I EVER tell you I want to quit blogging again.

So yes, I'm a big fat liar. I said I am quitting but I'm not. My apologies if I'd caused any inconvenience to anyone.



P/s: If you are keen, here's the link to the supposed new blog.